Halo semuanya, sudah lama aku tidak menulis di blogku ini. Betapa rindunya aku dengan rasa yang dapat dirasakan setelah mencurahkan semua perasaan dan pikiran yang ku punya dalam blog ini. Walaupun sudah sekian waktu, aku ingin sekali menceritakan topik yang sedang menjadi topik pelajaran dalam pelajaran Bahasa Indonesia di sekolahku, Sekolah Tiara Bangsa ACS (International) Jakarta, yaitu tentang asimilasi.
Sejak minggu lalu, topik pembicaraan dalam kelasku adalah asimilasi dan budaya. Setelah menulis essai dan sebuah pidato, aku merasa sudah cukup paham dengan apa itu yang dimaksud dengan asimilasi, dan juga kaitannya dengan budaya. Pada saat menulis essai, saya menemukan definisi asimilasi budaya yaitu sebuah proses yang terjadi akibat dua budaya yang berbeda dapat berinteraksi untuk membentuk sebuah budaya yang baru dengan toleransi atas kedua budaya tersebut. Pada saat aku pertama mendengarkan kata-kata “Asimilasi Budaya”, aku merasa bahwa ini adalah sebuah hal yang akan sangat rumit untuk dipaham dan dilaksanakan. Akan tetapi, setelah mendengarkan dan membaca artikel dari internet, aku menemukan asimilasi dalam bentuk yang sangat sedarhana, dan tidak asing sama sekali.
Aku sadar bahwa aku juga berasal dari proses asimilasi budaya, karena kedua orangtuaku mempunyai budaya, yaitu kepercayaan, kebiasaan, pikiran, dan lain-lainnya, yang berbeda sekali. Ayahku lahir di Pontianak, lalu pindah bersama keluarganya ke kota Jakara, sedangkan Ibuku lahir dan dibesarkan di pulau tersebut. Karena kedua orangtuaku berasal dari bagian Indonesia yang berbeda, aku percaya bahwa mereka masing-masing mempunyai budaya yang berbeda, yang juga dapat dilihat dari prilaku yang mereka punyai sampai saat ini juga.
Karena kedua orangtuaku mempunyai latar belakang dan budaya yang berbeda, aku merasa bahwa dengan mengadakan sebuah perkawinan, mereka telah menyatukan kedua budaya yang mereka punyai untuk mendirikan sebuah budaya baru yaitu keluarga kami, yang terdiri atas aku sebagai anak perempuan mereka yang pertama, kedua adik perempuanku, ayahku dan ibuku. Kami adalah sebuah keluarga yang telah terbentuk oleh asimilasi budaya.
Walaupun asimilasi budaya telah menghasilkan aku, Audrey untuk hidup di dunia ini, aku tahu beberapa hal yang berdampak negatif bagai beberapa orang, termasuk aku sendiri. Hal-hal ini termasuk adanya konflik diantara setiap anggota di keluarga saya. Walaupun keluargaku adalah hasil dari asimilasi budaya, beberapa kebiasaan yang berasal dari kedua budaya yang berbeda pun tidak hilang begitu saja. Ada beberapa hal yang sangat dicemaskan oleh salah satu orangtuaku, yang tidak diperhatikan oleh pasangannya. Hal ini menimbulkan konflik yang dapat mengguncang keluarga kami.
Sampai disini dulu ya blog ku, akan ku tunggu komentar-komentar kalian, sampai jumpa lagi!

-audrey (:


ya.
so I had something before what went why.
who were to wonder what was in too.
what had who she known was what noone would wonder?
and what reason would the wonderer want if they wouldn't give it well?
Well, that's what all wonderers would want to withdraw from,
the wasted warmth of what seems to be,
so what really is would not be whisked away.
When would what really is instead wonder about,
whether to be wrong or remain,
as always constantly lost.
Won't it wonder who it wondered to,
and to where it might want them to land.
Where by the water would be of winter state,
and the windows wilted.
Waves of wicked monsters to withold the mysteries
of what seemed to be.
so what might one do,
to give up on the risk at hand,
and wonder away to wherever they would let her,
and would never let whatever turn her into a wimp,
and wouldn't have went wrong.
Who is she
who would want all this?
Why, the one wonder who would, would be the wonderer.
Wonder why the wonderer would wonder about such things.
But why not?
When all that would be left could be what they wasted,
and wish to always have wished for what would last.
To have had wind between your fingers,
and sand flowing through your hair.
Wanted the one important thing?
Wilted, away, wet willowed, to join forces.
With no other than the enemy.

*mindless white weeping watermelon*
I'd wiss you,
audrey.


So I've decided to make a list of things I'd want to do before I finish IB, or maybe even start it.

First; Go dancing.
I like to dance, but the pointless dances I make up only in my bedroom. My floors are wooden though, so I feel like I'm on a dance floor. Sort of. I want to learn to dance, learn moves? In a real studio, with a group of people/friends/strangers who'd love to move. I can move my whole body into a wave! I think that's cool. I'd like to dance with you too, for sure.

Second; Photography
I'm gonna buy a camera, those big fancy ones with lots of buttons. And one with only one button, with film. Learn how to use my fisheye lomo camera, and buy a cheap-ass polaroid. I'm going to take photography lessons until I get bored of it, and just waste all my camera memory on cool, pointless capturings.

Third; Photoshop and Coraldraw lessons
Yeah I'm guessing I just basically need these.

Fourth; Learn to play the guitar from hippies
Yes I'm guessing this way it'll be much more fun. Don't you agree? I'm gonna go on their hippie vans and wear their baggy shirts and tyedye pants, rainbow headbands, braided bracelets and leather sandals. Mmm, the life.

Fifth; Dress up
I'm going to dress up. Yes! Dress up! I do not know how to apply makeup. Teach me pleaseeeeeeeeee pretty pretty please. And heels, the heck with them.

Sixth; Buy baby turtles
I'm going to take care of them of course. They'll be my babies (: I know where I can adopt them. I won't harm them in any way I promise. I love baby turtles, those super tiny ones that crawl all over the palm of my hands. I had two, I used to have two. They died tragically for some reason. I'll put them in a aquarium until they're ready to live in the garden, where the big boys are.

Seventh; top 5
I'm gonna have to work hard to keep being on the top five. I'm getting better, I guess. Better than before, a lot better. But not good enough for the oawuhefiwhfowiejfhoweifjhwef. I love it anyways,

Eighth; Go scuba diving
I've never been. This skin of mine, oh why. I'll buy myself a whole new body suit for this.

Ninth; IGCSE results
busetdehwtfhbbq. This should be one of the most important things on the list. Yeah this should be at least the second one. Up, way up there. But you know what? I sometimes forget that it's important. I do not know how I'll end up.

Tenth; Learn how to play pool
This is too important! I will learn how to play pool and poke them balls around with sticks. In cool ways ofcourse.

Eleventh; Make a mini-movie
Sript writing, camera work, all that jazz. Just behind the scenes would be enough.

12th; to miss you.

*more to come,
Audrey


I am not feeling well. There were no teh celups in the cabinet tonight. So I had to settle with hot water, and sugar. It made me feel all warm inside when I took sips of it. (:

Claudine and Ella are being mean. They wouldn't give me infinite hugs when I really needed them. I was really cold okay! I have my batik blanky that I do not allow anyone else to use except myself. I get whiney when I see someone using it for some weird reason when there are other blankets elsewhere.

Ahh, when youre fingers are cold just rub em together. Or just hold my hand, I'll be happy to lend it to you. Especially now, they're really warm. My eyes are warm, my other body parts are superbly cold. Even after having my blanky as a pancho. ulala I can't wait for December, when it gets really cold. I'm planning to go to the states. I love winter, too bad we're unfortunate to not be able to afford having it here. But rainy days work either way. They create crazy winds that sweap everyone's hair off their shoulders. It makes everyone who'se standing under any type of shade cool and as if they were to fly away alongside it!

You know what I really want? Those white powdered donuts. They are not possible to be found here, I'm sure of it. I'm going to have to wait until the day I leave and start and expedition to find them.

I'm really very confused about what the future might hold. I know right, cheesy much? But seriously I don't know what's going to become of me. My dad told me I should just do everything and give it my best, everything will fall into place sooner or later. I guess that's what he said. That's what I thought of his speech anyway. Ohmy how I feel like I'm melting. I hate being sick, I hope when I wake up tomorrow morning everything will be alright.

I think I want to buy a goldfish. I'll name it after you (:

<3 audrey


Yes they are! Oh how you can try to glue them back together but it just won't do. It's like when you try to glue together plastic items using wood/paper glue, it just won't do. Oh the very things they do, I do, everyone does for a day.

You'll have to learn how to dance,
and withstand the rain when it pours,
like the chocolate syrup on your pancakes
and the banana slices placed on top.
Like how the boats move,
leaving white trails on the blue face of the sea.
How it never seems to mind,
but always it'll fade at some point
to not be seen again.
As if it were temporarily scarred,
and a bandaid were to be placed on it to heal.
Won't the dragonflies just leave them alone?
They do need their space, just like the stars
and the moon. They all take part.
My eyes might not work properly anymore
the same goes for my brain.
And my heart, oh where to begin!
The way it drums off beat,
how will I ever be in a marching band.
The way it sometimes screams instead of just humming along.
The way it seems to be leaping out of my chest.
The way it hates the way it feels.
The way it has been taken away,
for 'there is a hole in my chest where my heart used to be, and she doesn't even know" - Kiwi *Raise Your Voice

I really do love that line.
Would you ever think about the time you spend thinking about things?
Only to end up why you ended up thinking about thinking!
Sometimes all you need are your instincts.
And the insects will feel dandy!
Do you think humming birds hum? I believe they do but in their own
secret agent language. How selfish are they I must say! They do not respect
those who have their ears wide open.
Instead they prefer to talk to those who are just alike of them,
who do not have ears but really do understand them.
I'm begining to change sides as this goes.
I would rather sleep in a pile of underwear and wash the weight away.

Did you know what weight is actually the force exerted on an object? It is measured in Newtons (N) with a formula of ; W=m.g where W is weight, m is mass, and g is gravitational force, or idk.

I am very sleepy.
nightsleeptight don't let the bed bugs bite.
Promise me right away okay?

Audrey.


I'd wish to twirl and twirl and twirl, yes till I hurl.
I don't know why,
I just can't stop thinking of you.

hey! We'll never start!
We'll just stay where we are, standing on X; that marks the spot.
Polkadots on your pajamas you say?
Ohmy.

I am polarized. I hate it when I have to choose between events to attend.
I become sad and weird and awkward.
haven't I told you how awkward I am?
I guess it'll never fade away,
like the my tie dye shirt I wear at home on lazy saturdays,
and sunny mornings.

Ride a purple fixed-gear bike to the moon, just to pick up stars along the way. And count all the sparkly glitter that scatter in mid-air, just to sprinkle it on a cake and lick the frosting clean. ohmy birthday cakes, how I love the ice cream kinds. They make my teeth giggle in a way, tickly and excited. But you wouldn't know what it feels like would you? Well go on, try it for yourselves! I promise you it won't dissapoint. Just like ice-cold popsicles in the afternoon, right after you've played with sand on the beach, making sand castles to capture water in it's moats. Is that what they call them?

I like the mess you make.

I hate this! Well hate is a very strong word. The right word for my being is love. I would be lying though, because it is not love at all. Oh my are you confused? If you are, please tell me, and tell me what to do to clear out the fuzzies. Make me untangle the messy strings and ribbons, so I'll be able to wrap you an early Christmas present. Remember! Santa does not like them naughty (;

I like the rules you break.

I have cavities. I am positive about this! The downside for this situation is that I simply must go to the dentist and get them drilled right away! I do not think this makes sense, for the dentists to create a bigger hole just to fill it up again. Why cant they just scrape the rotten parts and just get it over with ? Instead of drilling a deeep deeeeeep hole right there and filling it with the white goey stuff that hardens in time. Oh time, how we make it fly.

Jell-o. Would you ever think of bathing in a tub full of it? I would. It'll feel like a birthday surprise, when your friends bring water balloons and eggs and flour to school just to get your uniform dirty at the end of the day. Then you'll have to sit in your car seat with all that mess they've left for you to clean up. Love.

So tired of all of this. I wish to make you smile (: *homo*

So I went to Bandung on Saturday! It was very disturbing. I liked it a lot though, not to sound like a freaky freakshow but in a fluffy monster kind of way, yeah. We got to play while it was raining, and rolled in the mud afterwards. I lost my pants, sort of. I left them there, which is very sad but oh what the heck! I can't wait for the next season to start. I miss it oh so freaking badly. Noticed how I've gotten better? ohyeah fire and ice baby. I don't think that made sense, and sounded a bit cocky. But hey! The more the merrier. I don't wanna know what the little evils think, they think they're that much cooler than me. Mike Posner will show them ;p oh my I was very pissed, they did not have the rights to do that. To show a little respect, wouldya?

This one was inspired by Kyle Andrews, *You Always Make Me Smile

kbye loveya
<3 Audrey


so i'll see you soon then? - dear john

I don't know why but this line makes me think that there are no goodbyes.
only continuous scenes, like movies played alive.

So today was the first day back in school after spring break. I swear I am not liking the least bit of it. I was very lemes, as they say it. and truth be told, my bahasa is getting worse everyday. I wish to be doing as I used to. Now I must check google for translations! I'm not good in either english or bahasa. What is one to do.

I had a headache, like a real one throughout Chemistry. But I didn't care much for it until school ended. I skipped soccer practice once again. I don't think I'm much needed anyways. I've decided not to go on the Saturday soccer trip to Bandung, instead I've decided to stay and attend my gay lover, Alfred's birthday lunch party. I know he might not be gay but, he just is to me. I shall get him a present this Friday.

Today's Ramada's birthday! Another gay lover of mine. May bumble bees whisper great things to her ear, so she'd hear what she's been missin. <3

I like to think about what I've been thinking. I hate the way it is. But then again I love it most when it doesn't. I shall confuse myself with the whole love-hate-hero concept. But you know what? If I ever told you that it was love, oh what bullshit I've made up. Fantasy fancies are what every princess would want. I would want anything less. I just know that the organized life is going to suck, as what I really want to achieve wouldn't be. I do not know what I'm going to do. Sometimes I imagine myself dying young, without figuring anything out. But then I'd think of all of the things that I'd be missing, and take what I thought away by thinking of all the other great fancies my mind would think of. Ah how they love to make me confused.

I still have that stuffed animal(; yes I do. Oh good peanut butter and jelly, I still think of you. But no, I don't mean you. Wow I'm weird.

I like bringing balloons to school, they have a way of floating and taking their colorful selves away. I brought my inflatable clear jelly like balloons. They were very hard to keep. They kept popping, bubble bursting, tummy aching, finger crossing all over the place. That probably didn't make sense but who are you to judge?

Bubble gum are likely to stick on your boots, especially on a hot summer day. You know, they do have lots of flavours to choose from. You can have whichever flavour you want boy. *wait what?
Soda cans, tea packets, coffee mugs and milk cartons. Gulp them down like a train without wheels, on tracks, on brakes. I'll leave you to it.

So I'll see you soon then?
I'll see you soon then,

<3 audrey

Jennifer the Barbie
Anabelo
Tiffy
Pradnya
Deliana Devanda
Adhika A.F Lubis
Priyanka <3
Agnes
Darlin Valentine
credits x x x x x